No Umbrellas Allowed Font Makes It Unpleasant on the Switch

When I got the opportunity to play No Umbrellas Allowed, I checked out the June 2023 “Announce Trailer” and thought it seemed interesting. There’s shop management. There’s political intrigue. I figured I’d play it on the Switch, my most used system, and pick at it between other games. However, because of the font used in No Umbrellas Allowed on the Switch, it is unplayable in handheld mode and unpleasant in when the system is docked and connected to a TV.

I suppose a little research on my part would have helped hint at this issue. The “Announce Trailer,” which you can see below, hints that there could be an issue if you don’t watch it in full-screen on YouTube. The text seems uncomfortable in text boxes, even though it is black script set against a beige background. The UI for the cards in the bargaining section can look a bit cluttered, when statements are too long or they get in the way of the colored highlights explaining what type it belongs to. However, it seems like it would still potentially “work.” The fact that the trailer also didn’t note which version of the game we’re watching also makes it seem like it could be fine.

However, a peek at the Nintendo Switch eShop listing for No Umbrellas Allowed makes the issue far more evident. Attempting to read any screenshot set in the shop or with ambient dialogue when moving through the city is brutal. Fonts are unacceptably tiny and unreadable. Ones that are larger can be a bit blurred, due to stylistic directions. In the UI showing information about the product being brought into the shop, we have beige text on a coffee-colored background, which can be quite difficult to read. Especially in the situation when a person is attempting to sell a “Mindows 2000 Installation Guidebook” example. 

You can see some of these official screenshots below.

When I attempted to play when docked, things were a bit better. However, it still meant I was in a situation that necessitated my sitting within two feet of my TV. Even then, I sometimes needed to lean forward to make out some text. Eventually, I even resorted to visiting my mother to borrow a magnifying glass, but my eyes still ended up irritated and bloodshot after an hour gaming session. Worse yet, because the dialogue auto-advances, as you’re trying to make things out you can miss information.

Which is a shame, because Hoochoo Game Studio had such an interesting idea! A futuristic dystopia where a government is using a substance called Fixerain on cities to influence people! A group that fought back and sabotaged them in the hopes of delaying the rollout to a final city and buy more time! A protagonist who seems to be involved, finds a pawn shop owner willing to cover for him, and in a situation where there’s a suggestion that umbrellas could somehow come in or maybe some sort of influence could be exerted. I wanted to learn more! I wanted to manage this store.

I wanted to play (and like) No Umbrellas Allowed on my Switch. Unfortunately, unless there’s some sort of patch, I don’t think that is in the cards. Given how directly it seems to pull from the 2021 PC version, which seems to have a similar issue, maybe that won’t be in the cards.

No Umbrellas Allowed is available for the Nintendo Switch, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X, and PC.