ESRB Attempts To Explain Cho Aniki Zero

Some games are hard to describe on paper. Cho Aniki Zero, a manly shoot ‘em up with bodybuilders acting as gunpods, is one of those games. The ESRB does their best to outline it by pointing out Speedos and “man juice” phrases.

Let’s read their explanation for the “T” rated game, which spoils one boss battle.

This is a side-scrolling shooter in which players control small characters that fire energy beams and bombs at an assortment of fantastical creatures. Players can battle amoeba, flower creatures, skeleton bosses, and muscle men wearing tight Speedo shorts. Enemies and objects explode in a fiery burst and disappear from the screen when defeated. Some male and female characters are depicted in revealing outfits, and dialogue contains numerous suggestive references; for example, "It’s full to bursting with man juice," "let me wipe you down. C’mere big boy," "I’m gonna hold my best bro’s hand, and we’re gonna cuddle up all close, ’til our eyelashes touch," and "Get you’re a*s off my neck! Stop rubbing!" In one sequence, players battle a pair of bosses connected in the following manner: the man in front is positioned like a dog while the man in back is cradling the squatting man’s knees, his face submerged under the man’s crotch. The game contains language such as "sh*t," "a*s," and "a*shole."

“It’s full to bursting with man juice”? Not too many games have lines like that, but the ever intrepid folks at Aksys are releasing Cho Aniki Zero in North America. It’s only for PSP and will be a digital download when it comes out this spring.