Facebook Files: The Zombie Contingency Plan

Welcome to Facebook Files. Please leave your weapons at the artillery bay for routine inspection. Here’s a rundown of how things work: Every week, we look through our Facebook group for the best community discussions. The ones that stand out will be published on Siliconera as part of this feature every weekend. If your topic isn’t chosen one week, don’t lose heart…it might get picked up the next.

Everyone that grew up playing videogames or watching horror movies knows about the inevitable zombie outbreak. While the specifics — for instance, will they largely be of the oldschool variety, or perhaps the grotesque results of Sonic Team’s ruthless experiments on their fans — aren’t clear at this point in time (R&D heads at Capcom, Konami and Valve assure us they are investigating), we do know that it’s coming. The question is, how do you plan to combat it?

Gabe decided it was time to round up the community for a discussion of just how one would go about surviving the outbreak.

Gabe wrote:

Basically, I’d love to hear this communities plans for WHEN zombies attack. I believe many people have thought about it but haven’t quite worked it out. Well, to those few who are unprepared, I present this discussion to you for your future well-being. For those who have at least a simple layout, I ask that you share for the goodness of mankind.

 

As soon as I hear word of an uprising I plan on collecting my family, supplies (food, water, weapons, etc), and driving to the Red Wood Forest of California. From there I’d clear out an appropriately sized area for farming and begin building shelter on the side of the giant Sequoia trees above the cleared area.

Naturally, everyone had their own ideas for how to best approach the situation. However, it was unanimously agreed that survival is the first step. Anton believed the establishment of a fortified stronghold well in advance would be prudent.

Anton wrote:

My contingency plan is getting started well before any signs of zombies begin to emerge. I’m planning on buying a big plot of land, probably out in the prairies, where I will start a self-sustained communal house. Myself and others living there (mostly family and friends) will farm and live off the land.

 

Everything will be mostly powered on wind and solar energy. Back-up generators will be around just in case. Eaves troughs around the house will capture rain water and send it to an underground filtration, purification, and storage system.

Mattias wrote:

As a guy from Sweden it looks kind of bleak on the weapon front. Luckily a trusty old crowbar usually does the trick until I can secure ingredients for Molotov Cocktails. Escape plan would definitely be to the closest Supermarket and make it to a stronghold, that way we’ve got food in any case.

While readers like Mattias and Anton were focused on spearheading defensive operations, some readers figured taking the fight to the undead would be the best course of action instead. A good offense makes for the best defense after all. Luckily, some places in the world are naturally equipped for just this kind of crisis.

Alec wrote:

Luckily, living in Texas has a couple of benefits. First, space, meaning low population density in many areas and so much-reduced infection likelihood for everyone around, and open firing ranges to keep zombies spotted at a distance, and then capped. Second, guns. Most people, especially in the country, have guns, and most people know how to use them, and will.

 

So for short-term, get all the neighbors organized and ready to hold the area. Starting by getting the local gun dealer on board. Using that model, start patrols to find isolated survivors, scrounge for supplies, and to locate and eliminate groups of zombies. Preferred setup: A pickup truck loaded with armed men. The bigger, the better. Cattle guard also a plus.

Adam wrote:

My handiness with a bladed weapon is already sealed. My physical prowess has been on the climb for a while now (Boxing, Physical training… Piano?). I’ve recently picked up lock picking for the sheer "puzzle solving" aspect. I can site the Zombie Survival Guide. I’ve participated in the "Zombie Walk" (www.zombiewalk.com or wiki) [hey, you have to be able to think like your enemy]. Now all that’s left is some small fire arms training which my friend has been trying to get me on since he’s an expert.

 

If you need my assistance, I’ll be readily available at the drop of a hat. I do advise that you keep a "panic box/duffel bag" in case of outbreak with all necessary supplies packed.

Soon enough, alliances were formed between the offensive and defensive factions, both wisely understanding that they would require each other’s full cooperation to properly fight the outbreak and save all of humanity (and maybe earn an achievement or two along the way).

Anton wrote:

@Adam: Amazing! You are my go-to guy when the infection starts. Sounds like between the two of us, those zombies don’t stand a chance!

Adam wrote:

Zombies wouldn’t stand a chance against an army of Siliconerans (Did you guys ever figure out an ender for SE? Haha). It’s in a gamers nature to go for the head and/or realize what’s happening before your common civilian.

 

"Honey, why are you puking up putrid black ooze and almost starving for my flesh to the point of gnashing your teeth incessantly? Let’s get you into the bathtub."

Ishaan wrote:

@Adam: I believe it’s "Siliconerites." Apparently, that’s what they refer to us as on the Atlus boards, too.

 

And so, the elite Siliconerite outfit was born for the sole purpose of breaking the will and bodies of the undead should they dare to threaten humanity. A twitchy-trigger-fingered infantry with a thirst for headshots and bayonets, serving as the last bastion between the hordes of evil and all of mankind. Next step: training personnel and preparing a squad to infiltrate Dracula’s castle (…but we’re not sure which one).

If you’re interested, you can check out the full discussion here. We’re also recruiting, so if you have your own ideas for how to combat the outbreak or would like to suggest future Siliconerite operations, fire away in the comments.